Haters Gonna Hate

February 21, 2013
Body Image

As a woman and a fashion blogger, I’ve realized that body image issues seem to run rampant. We live in a society where it’s okay to make comments about someone’s weight and judge prematurely based on looks. It breaks my heart to see this because I like to believe that my momma was right on when she said, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

Through my blog I’ve had the opportunity to meet so many interesting men and women and I’m always inspired by their unique stories. One of my blogger friends is Cassie of “The Reluctant Femme” (And no, this is not the same Cassie who called me obese). While we’ve never met in person, I appreciate Cassie’s openness on a number of issues, ranging from sharing her own story of personal abuse to the ingredients in your nail polish. Cassie is a beautiful and smart young woman, so when she blogged about her fears of being labeled as a “fat girl blog” if she posted pictures of herself, I was shocked. I was incredibly humbled to see her reference to my blog in the post. Here’s the screenshot:

I write my blog for me and no one else. I don’t worry about what others think. If someone thinks I'm fat, so what? If someone thinks my hair is ugly or my makeup isn't good enough, who cares? I don't. Frankly, if someone calls you out for being too thin, fat, short, tall or whatever, politely invite them to leave your community. You have how many other readers out there that love you and your blog and don't care about your physique? You can afford to lose one person. And that one person who would say such terrible things about you isn't even worth your time.

Don’t get me wrong; I love each and every one of my readers. But my blog is an expression of me; I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not. And with that, I’m not going to let some social rules dictate that I can only write in a certain way or take pictures in a certain way because I am a certain size. I’m going to do it how I want to, because it’s my blog.

There will always be trollers on the Internet and mean-spirited people in real life that will make comments meant to hurt you in some way. And those people are not worth your time. The way you handle it is all that matters. You don’t need to respond publicly (like I did here and here), or even privately. Just don’t stoop to their level and don't let it get you down. Haters gonna hate!

All that being said, it takes a lot to be able to take pictures of yourself and your outfits and put them out there. I take hundreds of pictures, and most of them don't make the cut because you can see my belly roll here or my double chin there. I'm generally nervous posting pictures of myself. I still worry that someone might say something mean about how I look. I know it will hurt when it does happen again, but I also know that I have more readers that love and support me than I do mean nasty people.

My best advice to anyone who is scared about what others will think about you is simply to hold your head high with confidence. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to prove to anyone. Be proud and just go for it.

Be You.